A big part of getting older is figuring out which social activities bring you genuine joy. Whether that be sparing outings or going out multiple times a week, a balance exists for everyone. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. What differentiates a night out that I enjoy from one I wish I had spent in bed? There are a few factors that affect my nights out.
1. The people I’m with: This is arguably the most important one. I need to be around people who I can have good conversation with. Forcing social interactions may be number 1 on my hate list (side note, I think the most awkward part of any conversation is the greeting and the goodbye, because they establish how comfortable you are with the other person, I think about that a lot.)
I also like a group that allows me to branch out, but also feels safe, like somewhere I can comfortably hide if necessary. There’s usually one person I stick with. Conversations with strangers are smoother with a familiar personality to bounce my own off of. I also love when a friend and I can observe and joke about things happening in a packed bar in our own bubble.
2. Setting: Lighting is CRUCIAL. I hate a bar that’s harshly lit. Warm lighting is better in every single scenario I think, other than surgery probably (side note, a cashier at Wegmans asked my roommate her major today, and when she said Poli-sci, the cashier asked if that meant surgery, did not know how to react).
Decor is also a huge variable. A well-decorated space can elevate an evening tenfold. I went to a bar with my friends last night. The art was sick. All of the posters were well framed and placed, the lighting was warm and the fixtures were interesting. Lots of couches and tables. LOVE. A place filled with things for me to look at. My favorite was a huge rug depicting a jazz band, I could’ve stared at it for a very long time but I worried I looked strange. My mom found it online and I got it! Crazy how she finds these things.
There are many vibes I enjoy in an establishment, but what I find most important to the energy of a space is proof of life. Like things happen there. Little drawings on the bathroom stalls and cracked paint here and there. I will ALWAYS prefer this over a clean-cut, renovated place. My friends played pool with some middle-aged guys which I thought was dope. I can’t play, but it was fun to watch them.
3. Music: This can also make or break. Volume is key. Another pet peeve: If we are not dancing the music should not be too loud to talk over. It can totally be cranked a little, absolutely, but yelling in a bar over a remix of a Dua Lipa song will always send me straight home. I know that college bars have to cater to the masses with the music they choose, but I really can’t stand it. I guess it’s not that I can’t stand it, but it won’t elevate the night out. Bad music can be saved by the first two on this list being solid, but it really perfects the evening when it’s well-curated.
A good live show is always peak as well. I have to be with people that will dance with me though, and people around me need to be dancing too.
